


Found

by Genuinelies



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: EWP - Emotions Without Plot, F/M, Get-Together Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 19:24:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2281704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genuinelies/pseuds/Genuinelies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After five years of running, Nico is finally found. Some things you run from are just faster than you by nature.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Found

**Author's Note:**

  * For [skyrat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyrat/gifts).



> I apologize in advance if this is rushed. I haven't finished the series and didn't know I had it in me, but somehow I churned this out in less than 24 hours. Not the most inspiring preface, I know. 
> 
> There's nothing too graphic, but there are a couple of sexual scenes, so "m" to be safe.
> 
> That said…I wrote it at the cajoling of Skyrat, and she thought it was decent enough to post so - my contribution to my newest obsession.

“Ah, there you are.”

            Nico di Angelo bit down on the silver fork just entering his mouth, hard enough that he felt the tines prick the skin behind his teeth. He spat out the tortellini he’d just spent a half hour preparing into a napkin and within the same fluid motion he used to throw that napkin on the table, he both knocked over his chair so that it was in front of him and drew his black Stygian iron sword.

            No one had any reason to say “there you are” to him, like an old friend. That was the point of this – the hotel rooms, the city-hopping, the nights spent in places so remote it would take days of travel to reach if he couldn’t step into the shadows.

            He looked past his blade.

            Old friend indeed. One of the few allowed to use a phrase like “there you are”. One of the few who he might possibly owe an explanation to about his five-year absence from anything and anyone familiar.

            “Why would you even be looking for me?” Is the only sensible thing he can force past his lips. The stutter chipped at the sharpness of his tone.

            Eyes like the sea bore into his. Percy Jackson hadn’t changed much physically, but those eyes were a little more worn. Understandable. He had wanted to come back after he had heard what had happened with Gaea, actually, but the desire was repressed under his healthy dose of common sense. Percy had Annabeth. Percy had Grover. Percy had his mother, and his brother. Percy had everyone. His protectiveness was misplaced.

            “Well?” He snapped. He didn’t lower his weapon, even though his intruder was unarmed.

            “I’m not sure I thought you could cook,” was what the other demigod finally said, after a weighty pause.

            Luckily, Percy hadn’t yet noticed that Nico was slowly backing toward the hotel room coffee table, which had his satchel resting on top of it, and the couch next to it, where his old bomber jacket was folded on the arm.

            “Can you put the sword down?” Percy cajoled. “It’s been years. You have no idea what it took to find you.”

            “And what did it take?”

            “I followed the weird reports that were pretty much you killing monsters,” Percy said. “And the teams tracking down other new demigods finally caught sight of you once. It was enough to tell us you’ve been living in hotels.”

            “I could have just been on vacation.”

            “You needed a five-year vacation?” Percy snorted.

            “Yes!” Nico said, and flinched. It came out desperate, and that surprised even him. Percy looked shocked.

            Percy raised both his hands in the air. “I just came to talk. We’ve been worried about you. Five years is a long time, Nico. I know you don’t like any of us very much, but that doesn’t mean we don’t like you.”

            Nico could hear his own heart in his ears. The encounter was happening too fast. He felt like he was dreaming. Percy Jackson, coming to him as a friend? Surely there had to be a reason, like a quest or an onslaught of monsters he needed help with. There was a catch here, he just couldn’t spot any sign of it in Percy’s sympathetic expression.

            “I’ve kept in touch with my sister.”

            “Yeah, Hazel finally admitted you stop by every so often. But it’s not enough. That’s not what family is.”

            Percy paled, as if he realized he’d said the wrong thing.

            “I think I know how important family is,” the son of Hades hissed.

            “I’m sorry, okay? Wait, what are you-“

            The shadows coalesced, and Nico di Angelo grabbed his things and ran.

*****

“There you are!”

            Two months later, Nico felt like he was having déjà vu. It wasn’t like he ate pasta every night, or even on the same night each week. But there he was once again in a hotel room, his homemade pasta on the plate in front of him, with Percy’s voice unexpectedly coming from a doorway whose door he knew was locked.

            “How did you even get in here?” He asked testily.

            “You never deadbolt your doors,” Percy said, then frowned. “That’s actually not very safe.”

            “I like being able to get out quickly,” Nico mumbled. His shoulders slumped. Should he even bother with the shadow-travel? This could get old quickly. He should just find out what Percy wanted and help him with it, so he could be left alone that much faster. He stood, sucked in a steadying breath, then put on his poker face and turned.

            Percy was wearing his old Camp Half-Blood shirt, even though he was too old to be a regular camper at this point. Was he twenty-two now, if Nico was nineteen? It twisted something in Nico’s gut. It felt like the pasta on the table; like something he tried to recreate but could never quite capture. It added to the feeling that he was hallucinating, but he liked to think he would be able to tell.

            Or what was it they said? That the really crazy people had no idea they were crazy?

            “I’m sorry,” Percy said, and that made Nico meet his eyes. “I know I’m not your favorite person, but Annabeth-“

            Nico couldn’t help his flinch.

            This. This was why he left. He thought he’d left it for good, but no – that wound was still bleeding. It just needed some fresh salt.

            “-but Annabeth,” Percy said again, reddening as if he’d caught Nico’s look of pain and was embarrassed by it, “is off at Camp Jupiter, and Jason and Piper took a trip together, kind of a long break of their own. Hazel thought you’d come back when you were ready, but I don’t think that’s true. Is it?”

            “No,” Nico said honestly. Not ever. Five years was not enough. Ten years was not going to be enough. It’s why he had been for a year seriously considering visiting his father’s domain for something other than work or family obligation or a place to hide.

            Percy didn’t react, he just looked grim. “So I came to ask if you’d come back?”

            “What is it?” Nico managed to keep his voice calm.

            “What?”

            “Who’s in trouble?” Nico narrowed his eyes. “Is Camp Half-Blood under a threat?”

            “No…” Percy looked puzzled.

            “Has there been another prophecy?”

            “Well, yes.” Percy frowned. “But I don’t see what…”

            “Okay.” Nico nodded, satisfied. “What does it involve?”

            “Well, we don’t know, it’s really vague and no one really thinks it’s going to happen this decade, or even this century. It had something about flying cars in it. I’m not joking.”

            “Apollo has a flying car,” Nico pointed out.

            Percy looked thoughtful. “I’ll have to ask if Chiron’s thought of that.” He shook his head, then finally advanced inside the hotel room, shoving the door shut behind him. Nico swallowed and backed into the table accidentally, making his silverware rattle.

            Percy’s reaction to that was to look sad. He stopped moving. “I see,” he said.

            It was Nico’s turn to be confused. “What?”

            “I’m sorry,” Percy said. “I didn’t realize…I guess I thought you’d be the one to understand.”

            “You’re not making any sense, Percy.”

            “You’re afraid of me.”

            Well, yes, yes Nico was afraid of Percy. Or not Percy, of course not Percy, but of Percy’s reaction when he knew the truth. It always felt like his pores were screaming his secret, that Percy could read the truth in his eyes, that somehow he was one wrong word away from babbling his shame no matter how much he pushed the son of Poseidon away. “Of course not!”

            “You should be,” Percy said softly. “I thought maybe you hadn’t heard, but you did, right? What I did?” He coughed, then straightened his shoulders, and met Nico’s eyes squarely. “I used my power to control a person’s body. Using their blood, Nico. Their own blood. And the strength I felt doing it…”

            For a moment, the truth shone on Percy’s face. And it did scare Nico, just a little, that the demigod had basked in that power.

            But Percy was Percy. He was the best person Nico had ever known. He was good. Unfailingly good. Like a piece of the sun, shining brighter than even the other stars around him.

            Forgetting that even for a moment made Nico sick to his stomach. The fear was obliterated.

            It felt like he had betrayed the purest part of himself. Even if it was wrong to love him, the reasons he loved him were pure.

            “But I didn’t come to tell you that,” Percy said flatly. “I came to bring you back home to your friends. This isn’t healthy.”

            A nervous, horrible giggle escaped Nico’s throat. “Home? Home, Percy? I don’t have a home. I don’t have friends.”

            “Jason, Piper, Leo, Frank and Hazel would all be hurt to hear that,” Percy said harshly. “Annabeth would be hurt. And I would be too, except I know you don’t mean it. You’re just afraid. You’re afraid of caring about anyone because you’re afraid that means you’ll lose them.”

            Nico blanched. The vulnerable feeling – he hated it. He hated feeling weak. He hated Percy pitying him. The feeling grew and warped until it changed into something darker. “Get out.”

            “Look, I’m sorry. I’m not very good at-“

            “Get out! You bother to find me after five years just because you feel guilty over what happened with Gaea, and need someone as messed up as me to understand, is that it?”

            “No, Nico-“

            “None of the others are-are creepy enough to get it.” Nico balled his hands into fists. “But I can control skeleton armies, so I must, right? So you take all this time just to find me and see if you’re not alone in being a freak. Well congratulations. I’m not afraid of you, Percy. I don’t think you should feel bad about feeling good about being powerful. I absolve you. Now get out and leave me alone!”

Percy left.

 

*****

Nico tried to leave it alone.

            He went to Venice; he went to Canada; he went to Tokyo; he went to Mongolia. It took him all of two weeks.

            Percy had mentioned a prophecy.

            Prophecies usually meant people would die.

            People like Percy. It was nothing short of a miracle that he and Nico had both survived so long. Demigods had short lifespans; it was a known occupational hazard of their race.

            Nico’s conscience would not shut up, and somehow, his subconscious joined in. He had thought he was headed to Sydney, and yet there he was in Cabin Thirteen, staring around in confusion and dismay at the face-height spiderwebs and dusty furniture of his old room.

            He considered leaving immediately.

            Instead, he opened the door, and walked outside to see how much Camp Half-Blood had changed in his absence.

*****

            The answer to his earlier question was not much, and completely.

            The camp looked the same, but the people were all different.

            It hit him like a wave, the unexpected panic. It was like realizing the Lotus Hotel had stolen decades from him all over again.

            His heart in his throat, he struggled to get his breathing under control. He would have thought this was dying, except he knew better and this felt nothing like it.

            A panic attack? Was that what this was?

            They’re all still alive, he reminded himself. They just aren’t here. It’s the same time. No flying cars yet, like in Percy’s prophecy. You haven’t lost any time.

            But he had.

            He hadn’t realized just how much, but being faced with all the missing people made Nico aware of just how much time had passed, really.

            Percy was right. He had been selfish. He didn’t feel bad about avoiding Percy, because that had been self-preservation, but Jason would be really hurt. Despite what he’d said, he knew Jason was a real friend. It had just been easier to run without thinking about that.

            “Nico?” The voice was incredulous.

            It was enough to jolt him out of whatever he was feeling, although it did nothing to slow his heart.

            Percy Jackson, it seemed, was still hanging around Camp Half-Blood. But he knew that, because Percy had shown up in his old shirt.

            “Hi, Percy.”

            “You’re….you’re here!”

            Nico turned to look at him. He mustered a half-smile. “Yeah. You had said there was a prophecy, so I came to make sure you-I mean they had it under control.”

            “I told you that probably isn’t going to happen for years. Probably after we die. Even Rachel said so.” Percy flailed a little, and Nico had to stop himself from grinning. It was good to see Percy so animated again. “Not that I’m not glad that you’re here! It means a lot.”

            His breath caught. Things like that that Percy said so flippantly were the reason he’d had to stay away. In another context, they might mean too much, and knowing that Percy cared about everyone and threw things like that around, and meant them, made them painfully meaningless.

            “But are you okay? For a minute there you looked…” Percy stared around at the camp. “Oh.”

            “Everyone’s different.”

            “Yeah,” Percy looked morose too, if only for a moment. “But not really everyone. Jason, Piper, Clarisse and I all stayed on as counselors. They made new positions for us, since this hasn’t really happened before, where we…”

            “Live?” Nico supplied helpfully. “We’re all a little too old now. They probably weren’t expecting that.”

            Percy gave a short laugh. “Yeah. Good for us, right? But the new kids are all really cool. I mean, the Ares cabin is still a pain in the butt, especially since Clarisse is here giving them all a role model to follow, but even they’re pretty much decent. It’s nice having a place here. Training the new demigods who come in to camp is pretty satisfying. It feels like I have a purpose, you know?”

            Nico gave a one-shouldered shrug. He could see how Percy could feel that way, even if he wasn’t sure he could identify with it.

            “You’ll always have a purpose,” Nico said. “Everyone needs a hero.”

            “Yeah, well,” Percy shifted on his feet like he was uncomfortable. “The quests are mainly going to the new recruits who need to prove themselves. Every so often something big comes up but…how are you willing to put up with all the monsters coming after you when you’re by yourself? What if you can’t…” Percy blushed.

            “What if I can’t handle it?” Nico said dryly. “I can handle anything.”

            That actually seemed to leave Percy speechless.

            Nico shrugged one shoulder. “Anyway, if it gets too bad, I just use the shadows and go to the underworld for a while until it blows over.”

            Percy frowned. “But what if they hurt you, or grab you, and you can’t?”

            “I can handle myself!” Nico snapped. He was feeling as if Percy thought he was some defenseless little kid. The concern should have made him warm inside, but it just made him feel like Percy didn’t think he was his equal. Which might be true in many areas, but fighting monsters wasn’t one of them. He survived Tartarus on his own, thank you very much.

            “I’m sorry. I guess you can,” Percy answered quietly. “Hey,” he brightened. “This should make you happy. Annabeth’s on her way here today. Jason and Piper got back from their trip yesterday, so you actually have really good timing. They said they have news, so Annabeth is coming back for them.”

            Nico frowned. “Why would I care-“

            “Ah,” Percy looked uncomfortable. “Well, it’s kind of common knowledge that-“

            “That what?” Nico’s tone was dangerous.

            “Nevermind,” Percy said quickly. “Just thought you’d like to know.”

            Was Percy really telling him about his girlfriend coming home, in a way that meant he was alright with thinking Nico had a crush on her? That was weird, even for Percy.

            “Ah, Percy?” Nico started. “Has something-“

            “There you are, Seaweed-Brain!”

            Annabeth Chase was running toward them, blond hair flying behind her. She had a big grin on her face. It faltered when her eyes landed on Nico. She looked between him and Percy, slowing down as she approached. “Nico! It’s been…well, it’s a been a while. I didn’t expect to see you here. It’s wonderful that you came, too.”

            Nico nodded, unsure how to explain he had no idea what they were talking about.

            Her eyes were questioning Percy. He didn’t miss the way the tanned boy shook his head slightly at her.

            Annabeth recovered quickly, hugging Percy and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Missed you, Seaweed Brain.”

            Percy smiled at her.

            Nico waited.

            “I’m going to go see if I can find Piper. She and Jason got back yesterday, right?”

            Percy nodded. “The monsters left them alone for the most part,” he commented with a grin. “Get them to tell you about the confused kobalos.”

            Annabeth grinned back, then gave Nico a wave before walking off.

            Nico realized he was still waiting minutes after she had left.

            Waiting for the hand-holding that never came.

            Waiting for the kiss on the lips.

            Waiting for the lovestruck gazing, and banter that almost sounded too mean but was actually true love taking liberties.

            None of it happened.

            “Figured it out, huh?” Percy’s voice was wry, but his face was nervous and a little vulnerable. “It’s been two years, Nico, you can stop looking like I lost your entire Mythomagic set.”

            “I don’t play that anymore,” Nico lied through his confusion.

            Percy snorted to show it wasn’t fooling him. “We kind of just…grew apart. It happens. It was really intense for so long and I guess it just burned out. She was there when I needed her most, because after Gaea I needed someone to trust me because I didn’t trust myself. And when I mostly came to terms with who I was it just seemed like we were different people, in little ways. But I guess those little things were important.”

            This was not okay, Nico realized. Percy was single. Percy had come to find him on his own, while he was being single. There was nothing whatsoever standing between him and his acting on his inappropriate, twisted feelings.

            Except for his fear that he would never stand so close to Percy again without Percy edging away, or staring at him with disgust.

            Would that be enough?

            “Nico?” Percy reached out a hand, then apparently thought better of it. If Nico hadn’t been so dismayed it would have forced a laugh out of him for it being so predictable. Of course Percy Jackson wouldn’t even touch him like a normal person.

            “Oh,” it was like dawn descended on his face. “Oh. Hey. It’s been a while, so I wasn’t really thinking. If you still like Annabeth, it’s okay. I should have told you sooner, I guess. Would you have come back if you’d known? She’s not with anyone right now, not that I know of, at least.”

            “You’re an idiot, Percy.” Nico choked out.

            “Wait, Nico? I’m sorry!”

            Nico felt the shadows pulling at him, tugging him to the underworld. He had to end this. He couldn’t trust himself not to finally let go of the weight he’d been carrying for so many years without his respect for Annabeth and the reverence he had for their relationship as a wall.

            A hand gripped his wrist. The fingers were calloused, but Percy’s palm was warm and comforting on his skin. He hated that there was no disguising the trembling.

            “Stop!” Percy commanded.

            “I have never been attracted to Annabeth,” Nico clipped. He jerked his hand away. He was already half in the shadows.

            He checked Percy’s eyes for understanding. Of course there was none.

            He was almost gone when Percy cried, “What’s going on with you?”

            “Excuse me?” He stepped back into Camp Half-Blood, but his doorway remained open.

            “You leave us for five years with no word, no visits, and you’re just skipping from town to town. Doesn’t that get lonely? What are you even doing? I always thought you went to the underworld or somewhere important, but you’re kind of just running.”

            “I do go to the underworld,” Nico said defensively. “It’s just I get tired of eating cereal and being nagged all the time.”

            That actually earned a laugh from Percy. It made Nico’s chest warm, even as he was angry with himself for feeling that way.

            “I work sometimes,” Nico admitted. “I do stuff for my dad when he gets backed up with all the dead people. I’m not totally alone, Percy.”

            Not being alone didn’t mean not being lonely, but there was no way Nico was going to acknowledge that.

            “So you really mean that? You don’t like Annabeth? But everyone thought-“

            “Everyone assumes a lot of things about me,” Nico said bitterly. “That doesn’t mean they’re right.”

            “Yeah,” Percy said, after a pause. He wasn’t even trying to hide his scrutiny of Nico. “You get misjudged a lot. People don’t understand you.”

            Nico felt his cheeks warm. He looked at his feet.

            “You don’t help with all this.”

            He looked up in time to see Percy waving his arms, as if to encompass Nico’s whole body with that statement.

            “You act like you just don’t care. I keep saying this, but you leave without a word and it hurts people, Nico. They feel like they can’t count on you. But then you show up here just because I mentioned a prophecy that’s not even going to happen in our lifetime, and people don’t pay attention to that.”

            “You do,” Nico said softly.

            “Yeah,” it was definitely Nico’s imagination that Percy was blushing.

            That was it. Nico had to leave before things got any more obvious and he lost his welcome for good.

            “Why are you leaving this time?”

            “You don’t want to know.”

            “No, I really do. It’s a beautiful day, and it’s just starting. Annabeth just got here. You can say hi to Piper and Jason today. It would mean a lot to them to see you. So why are you going? It seems really out of the blue. Why does my relationship with Annabeth even mean that much to you if you don’t like her like that?”

            “You were the perfect couple,” Nico choked out.

            “So you’re leaving because you’re disappointed in us?” Percy sounded incredulous.

            “Don’t you dare, Nico di Angelo!” The new voice was unmistakably familiar. Nico felt his shoulders slump. Only a moment later he felt himself being turned into a strong hug. He flailed before resigning himself to the recognition that being embraced by Jason Grace was actually a really comforting, nice feeling. He gave in and awkwardly hugged Jason back. He wasn’t practiced at it, but the way Jason was grinning at him when they pulled away made all the embarrassment worth it.

            Percy was right. He did have friends there.

            How had he forgotten?

            He hadn’t, not really. It just made the loneliness easier to bear, to pretend it was just who he was and not something he was inflicting on himself because he was a coward.

            “Do you have any idea how angry I am with you?” Jason continued jovially. He punched Nico’s shoulder; Nico winced. “Five years, man. I am just so happy to see you I can’t decide if I’m still going to kill you or not.”

            “Erm,” Nico said.

            “Can I borrow Nico? We have some catching up to do.”

            Nico could see the wheels turning behind Percy’s expression. He took to Jason’s side gratefully.

            “I’ll see you later,” Percy called, and it might have been his imagination, but it sounded like a warning.

            Nope, Nico promised himself.

*****

“I wasn’t kidding,” Jason frowned at him once they were out of earshot within Cabin One. “I am pretty angry at you. Were you really planning to leave without even saying hello?”

            Nico sighed. “I’m sorry. I guess I wasn’t thinking.” He meant it. He met his eyes. His friend looked healthy, and happy, even though there was a crease of irritation between his eyebrows and the look he was giving him would have made a lesser demigod pee their pants. “It’s good to see you, Jason.”

            “I’m really considering challenging you to a duel, just to knock some sense into you.”

            Nico gave a half-shrug. “You can if you want. I’ve learned some new tricks.”

            Jason’s expression softened. “I get it, you know.”

            Nico blinked at the sudden change of topic. “Huh?”  
            “If Pipes was with anyone else, I might consider taking five years of quests that were very far away from this place, too. But I’d still keep in touch with everyone. You have to get over this whole ‘no-one-cares’ business. We talk about you when you’re gone.”  
            Nico flinched and turned it into a glare. “I’m sure you do.”

            “No! Not like that. This is what I mean. We talk about how we miss you. You’re an important part of this group. I’m not going to lie and say the whole camp misses you, but don’t we matter?”

            Nico fidgeted. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

            “If I hadn’t seen you with Percy right then, would you be? No, I didn’t think so.” Jason’s expression was careful. “Was he giving you a hard time?”

            “Percy? No.”

            “Have you heard about Annabeth?”

            “He kind of just told me. But that doesn’t matter.”

            Jason shook his head in disbelief. “So what have you been doing? You look…the same as I remember. Maybe a little more filled out.” He poked a bicep jokingly.

            Nico allowed himself a small smile. He knew he was still scrawny, still had bags under his eyes and that his olive skin was paler than it should be. He couldn’t help it. He spent time in the sun, he really did. “Traveling. There’s some really cool places. Did you know that a lot of cities have older cities buried underneath them, like Paris? Even Seattle has one. It burned to the ground and they just built on top of it.”

            Jason smiled back at him, and looked visibly relieved. “So you’ve been keeping busy.”

            “You could say that.”

            “Okay. Then at ease, soldier,” Jason joked. He turned serious. “Promise me you’ll stay until tonight? Pipes and I have some big news we want to share with everyone. It’d mean a lot to us if you were there to hear it.”

            Nico struggled with that.

            “What’s so important it can’t wait a day?”

            Oh, he didn’t know. Oblivion, and a new life, maybe, after he bathed himself in his dad’s river.

            Nevertheless, Jason looked authentically hurt. Nico nodded at him. “Okay.”

            Jason beamed.

*****

Nico spent the rest of the day in his cabin, cleaning and putting the spiders back outside where they belonged. He didn’t know why he bothered – Hazel spent all of her time at Camp Jupiter these days, and he knew he wouldn’t be back anytime soon, if ever, to use it. Maybe he just wanted to make sure everything was in order before he left. He got down to the bed coverings, then resigned himself to going outside again to shake them out.

            The sun was setting over the trees at the outside of camp. A few campers were still milling about, and they all gave him openly curious looks. Some of them even looked awed. That made him smile to himself – looked like he still had a reputation here, too. He wondered what they said about him, and if any of it was good.

            Probably not.

            He coughed through the clouds of dust billowing from the duvet. That was seriously disgusting.

            “Nico di Angelo! There you are.”

            There you are. There was that phrase again.

            But it was Chiron, the centaur who ran the place and one of the few Nico was actually glad to see. He smiled at him. He was relieved there wasn’t a trace of accusation or curiosity on his bearded face.

            “I’d heard you got back. Come by the Big House with me and don’t bother with that. We’ll get you some new bed coverings. I have a matter I want to discuss with you. Then you can head over to the campfire with the others.”

            Chiron didn’t make it sound like a choice.

*****

Nico was questioning his priorities.

            The two people – well, one person really, and one monster – in the room with him were definitely unaware that he was there. The man was getting paler by the minute, and his skin was getting punctured repeatedly by the bird-talons of the woman writhing on top of him, but yet the guy’s face looked rapturous.

            Nico’s own face was burning. He cursed Chiron for asking him to do this, but of course it made sense – he could shadow-travel into a place as intimate as a bedroom, and he was pretty sure he was immune to the charms of a succubus. How Chiron guessed that, Nico was trying not to think about.

            How many other people at camp knew?

            Had Percy known this whole time?

            Focus, Nico, he told himself.

            Part of him was fascinated. He’d never seen anything like this – who did, really, unless they were experiencing it for themselves or watching it on the internet or something?

            The other part of him was horrified. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t normal sex and that she wasn’t a normal woman. He felt so much pity and protectiveness toward the strange man – who wasn’t even attractive, he was just a plain-looking middle-aged guy – that he couldn’t help yelling out, “Get off of him!”

            The succubus ignored him. So did the man. Nico felt his life waning like a flickering flame. He stepped forward and brought his Stygian blade down, but the succubus was apparently paying more attention to him than he thought. She leapt away just in time, flying up to a corner of the bedroom, baring her teeth and hissing. “You have no right to meddle with my feast, demigod. Or perhaps you are jealous? I can be hungry enough for two!”

            The man lay coughing on the bed. Color was slowly returning to his face, along with a horrified expression that wiped out the bliss. “What…?”

            The succubus launched herself at Nico. He swiped at her. Somehow, she managed to dodge his attack, one of her taloned feet gripping his throat.

            She released him almost immediately as if burned. Her voice was surprised. “Freak!”

            She disappeared.

            Nico sighed. He rubbed at his throat, then yanked at the shadows before the man could ask him any questions.

            He wondered what the poor guy thought had happened.

            After a few more bedrooms, and a few more images he could never unsee, Nico finally tracked the demon down once again. The shadow-travel was wearing on him. He’d gotten a better handle on it and it didn’t wear him out under usual circumstances anymore, but he was getting the impression he’d be good for one last trip and that was it. He was bleeding above one eye, and he couldn’t wait to get some ambrosia so he could be sure it wouldn’t leave a scar. It’s not like he thought he was handsome, but he didn’t particularly want to look like a hardened criminal for the rest of his life, either.

            “Okay,” he announced, trying to ignore the young man south of the monster’s belly button. “This has got to stop.”

            “This is my territory now,” the succubus bit back at him. “I need to feed to survive. Go away. I have no use for you.”

            Nico looked at her incredulously. “You’re killing humans.”

            “They are weak. They are even weaker than you.”

            Nico’s eyes darkened. “I am not weak.”

            “You are out of breath, boy. I can do this all night.”

            “You have no power over me, though,” Nico pointed out quietly.

            “Because you’re unnatural!” The succubus shrieked, but he could tell he hit a nerve with that.

            So did she. He fought not to let it show. He steeled himself, then leapt at the bed. He took her off-guard; she hadn’t expected him to attack so quickly. They tumbled to the floor. The young man let out a surprised yelp, then a groan. They both ignored him.

            Nico shoved a knee into her stomach, but she managed to kick him in the shins. He struggled to get his arm free so he could remove the creature’s head from her body. She grinned at him, showing ugly, pointed teeth. “I told you, you’re too weak!” She crowed.

            He head-butted her. It made him see stars for a moment, but her howl was reward enough. She managed to get a claw around his throat again.

            No matter what he did, he couldn’t shake her off. They weren’t on the ground, so his powers weren’t even that much use.

            Percy’s words echoed in his head. This was the kind of situation he’d warned Nico about, the one where he was in mortal danger and couldn’t use the shadows to get away.

            The succubus’s eyes glowed maliciously in triumph.

            Suddenly, her head jerked, and there was a crashing, shattering sound. Her eyes unfocused and her grip slackened enough that Nico could throw her off and bring his sword down swiftly. She exploded into dust.

            Bewildered, he looked to the bed. The young human man, he must have been about Nico’s age, was shaking there on his knees. He held what looked to be the bottom half of a computer monitor in his hands. Looking toward the floor, Nico confirmed that he had in fact knocked the succubus out with just that. Glass shards were everywhere.

            Nico grinned at him. “Thanks.”

            “What-what just happened?” The guy asked, blinking.

            Nico regretted he’d never know his version of events. He grasped at the shadows, and in a Herculean effort managed to get himself one last ticket through the nether.

*****

“-Piper and I are engaged!” Jason’s eyes met Nico’s just as Nico blinked them open stupidly.

            They stared at each other. Firelight flickered over Jason’s chiseled features. They went from joy to shock in just a few brief seconds. Piper, standing beside him, followed her boyfriend’s – fiance’s, Nico corrected himself dazedly – gaze, and mirrored his expression.

            The other campers didn’t really notice. A round of cheering broke out, and before they jumped up and surrounded the couple completely, Nico managed a small wave and a huge grin. He gave his friends a thumbs-up sign.

            That was big news. He was glad he hadn’t missed it.

            He hadn’t realized the campfire and everything else in his vision was sliding sideways until he felt a strong arm wrap around his shoulders, and a slender, but still strong arm, catch him from the other side. He was lowered to one of the logs and released by the smaller arm. He looked to either side, and first saw Annabeth standing over him, then Percy, sitting beside him, still holding him up.

            Annabeth knelt, and wiped at his forehead. Nico flinched. “We should get you to the infirmary,” she said. She wasn’t quiet by any means, but still nearly inaudible through the commotion still going on around them.

            Nico tried to shrug Percy off, but he easily ignored his efforts.

            “What happened?” Percy sounded horrified.

            “Chiron had a quest for me, and it sounded easy, so I thought I’d take care of it so I could enjoy myself,” Nico mumbled. He hardened his voice. “I’m okay. Let go of me.”

            Percy hesitated, then released him. Nico scooted sideways to get away and nearly fell off the bench. Percy’s sigh was clear. The other demigod moved over to give him more room.

            He waved at them both. “Thanks. I’m okay now. Really.”

            Annabeth frowned at him. “Are you sure? You’re pretty beat up.”

            Nico mustered his best game face and even gave her a small smile. “All good. Promise.”

            She cast a look at Percy. “If you’re sure…” she sounded uncertain.

            “Don’t ruin this for Piper and Jason,” he said, knowing that was sure to work. “This is their big celebration.”

            “…decided to have the wedding here at Camp Half-Blood,” Piper was saying. “You know, less monsters ruining the reception and…”

            Annabeth looked over to them, then nodded at Nico. “Okay. But I want you to go get checked out.”

            He waved a hand at her, trying to mask how much effort that cost him.

            She walked away.

            “You, too,” he muttered at Percy. He dropped his head into his hands. He felt like if he could close his eyes for just a few minutes, he would feel worlds better.

            “You might hate me,” Percy’s voice was determined. “But I don’t hate you. And you have another think coming if you don’t think I know you. Come on, up and at ‘em. We’re going to the infirmary. You’ll be good as new in no time.”

            Nico groaned, but didn’t have the energy to protest being helped to his feet.

            He could feel Percy’s heart beating through his chest as they walked slowly side by side, one of Percy’s arms holding him up under his armpits.

            “I’m a freak,” Nico muttered, a little deliriously.

            “What?”

            “Nothing. Just something someone said to me tonight.”

            “You’re not a freak, Nico. And even if you are, we all are anyway. I think sometimes that’s what being a hero is.”

            It was his turn to mumble out, “What?”

            “You have to be different to be a hero, don’t you? We’re different. Everyone here is. I’m dyslexic, I have crazy ADHD, I don’t always do and say the right thing. I’ve gotten people killed. I’m as much of a freak as you are. Don’t think you’re special.”

            The last bit was said with a gentle amount of humor.

            A daughter of Apollo greeted them at the infirmary, and Percy could have left after handing him off, but he didn’t. The healer gave him some ambrosia and confirmed what he knew already; that his wounds were not life-threatening, and would heal easily, and that he had just worn himself out with too much shadow-traveling.

            Nico slept, and when he came to, he realized with a shock that Percy was in the chair beside his cot.

            Watching him. The other demigod looked embarrassed about being caught, but seemed to power through it. “So I was right, wasn’t I?”

            Nico was feeling almost normal again, but not normal enough to have any conversation involving Percy. Not after the weirdness that was his night. Even demons thought he was weird. He felt like having a scalding shower and a mind-bleach, but that would require more shadow-traveling, and he knew he wasn’t quite up for it. Also, after seeing Piper’s and Jason’s concern, he knew he had an obligation to remember himself long enough to attend their nuptials. Even he realized he owed them that much, or cause lasting trauma.

            “About what?” Nico sat up, and took a sip from the glass of water at his bedside.

            “You finally got into a situation you couldn’t shadow-travel away from.”

            Well, yes. But it wasn’t the one Percy was referring to. “I had help.”

            Percy looked taken aback. “What? Chiron sent someone with you?”

            “No,” Nico laughed. “The guy I saved. He helped me get away from that succubus. He packed a punch.”

            “A succubus?” Percy sounded appalled. “Chiron sent you after a succubus alone? That’s really dangerous! Why didn’t he send one of the girls?”

            “Because I can shadow-travel,” Nico explained. That should have been obvious. “Easy to get in and out of bedrooms.” The furious blush kind of snuck up on him. “I-I mean…”

            But Percy thankfully didn’t notice the easy set-up. “Yeah, but a succubus, Nico? She could have charmed you!”

            Nico shifted his eyes away.

            He didn’t notice the silence through his mortification for way too long. In retrospect, that was what implicated him. He should have had a quick answer to that, and Percy would have thought nothing of it.

            But what could have he said?

            “…couldn’t she?” Percy’s voice was small. “Oh.”

            Nico’s eyes shot to his face. Not good. The light that was flickering on in Percy’s eyes was not good.

            “You said you didn’t like Annabeth,” Percy said slowly.

            Acid was riling up his stomach. His worst nightmare was happening, and his mind was blank. He couldn’t think of a single thing to say to stop Percy’s train of thought. He felt his eyes widen in panic. The sheets bunched under his fist.

            “Nico, Chiron sent you because he knew that a succubus wouldn’t have any control over you,” Percy continued, hesitant realization clear in his voice. “Not just because you could shadow-travel.”

            Nico would throw up all over Percy Jackson any second now. He was sure of it.

            “Is this, is this why you think you’re a freak?” Wonder was evident in the words. “Nico…do you, I mean, do you like guys?”

            Nico took the shadow express out of the room so fast it finally did force him to vomit, but thankfully it was into the toilet of Cabin Thirteen, and not in the nether.

            It was too much, too soon. He’d known that, it was why he didn’t make it all the way to the underworld. The room was spinning. He should never have tried that so soon. He knew he’d already reached his limit.

            Had Percy looked disgusted?

            No, Nico realized with no small amount of shock. That was the best-case scenario he could have hoped for.

            But Percy was Percy. He was accepting. Either that, or it just hadn’t been enough time for it to really sink in yet. Maybe the disgust would come tomorrow, after Percy slept on his news.

            After all, he had only figured out that Nico like guys, in general.

            If he ever knew that Nico liked him, specifically – well, he was sure that was when the revulsion would kick in.

            Overwhelmed and miserable, Nico passed out on the black and white tile of his bathroom floor.

*****

Nico noticed the foul taste in his mouth before he noticed the pounding.

            …where was he?

            It took a long moment of staring at a toilet bowl before he remembered.

            He’d come to Camp Half-Blood. He took a quest. His dirtiest secret was now common knowledge. Anyone who didn’t think he was a freak before definitely knew the truth now.

            Well, anyone who mattered. He doubted Percy would shout it to the world, but there was no way he wouldn’t tell at least Annabeth. He told her everything.

            The pounding. Right.

            Nico didn’t bother to go open the door to his cabin. He brushed his teeth with a five-year-old toothbrush, and hoped that the toothpaste on the side of the sink was still good enough to kill any bacteria. After he thought about it and became grossed out with himself, he took a swig from the dusty bottle of mouthwash, and figured that the alcohol content on that was at least enough to kill anything that could have made him sick.

            He took a piece of toilet paper and wiped off the mirror.

            He looked terrible. If he’d seen himself on the streets, he probably would have drawn his sword. He angrily smoothed down his dark hair and splashed water over his face, drying it on the sleeve of his shirt.

            So he couldn’t shadow-travel. That didn’t mean he couldn’t walk out of camp on his own two feet.

            “I know you’re in there, di Angelo!”

            Nico closed his eyes, already defeated. Jason Grace was the one person he wouldn’t walk away from.

            He slouched to the door, and opened it just wide enough for Jason to shoulder his way in. Nico shut it quickly behind him.

            “I’m leaving,” he blurted. “I’m sorry, I have to. I’m going to miss your wedding.”

            “No, you aren’t.” Jason’s jaw clenched. “You owe this to me, Nico. You are going to stay, and you’re going to be happy about it.”

            Nico blinked at him. “I can’t, Jason!”

            “It’s one week away. That won’t kill you.”

            “He knows.” Nico felt the bile rising in his throat again. “I can’t stay and…”

            “What, Percy?” Jason’s eyebrows rose. “Knows, knows? You told him? What happened? I’m turning on the lights,” he flicked the switch on the wall. Nico blanched under his scrutiny, and the sudden brightness.

            “He guessed.”

            “And?” Jason seemed to be holding his breath.

            “Well, not that I…not that I like him, exactly, just that I…don’t like girls.”

            Jason looked deflated. “That’s not anything to be ashamed of, Nico. I’ve told you that, and I’m sure Percy did too.”

            Nico was shaking his head. He felt his shaggy hair fly around his face. “Even the succubus thought I was unnatural.”

            Jason snorted in surprise. “A succubus? That’s why you crashed my party looking like death? I mean, no offense…”

            Nico wasn’t offended. “Yeah. That’s how Percy guessed, he couldn’t understand why Chiron would send me instead of a girl, but then…”

            “He got it,” Jason supplied. “Nico, you aren’t seriously going to listen to a monster, are you? Does something like that count more than I do?”

            “Huh?”  
            “I think you’re just fine. I’m sure Percy does too. Don’t we matter more than some demon?”

            “Well, yes, but…”

            Jason’s stare was hard. “If you use this as an excuse to miss out on possibly the biggest day of my life, I’m not going to forgive you.”

            Nico frowned. “A week?”

            “Just a week,” Jason promised. “This Saturday. It’s Monday, so it’s actually even less than that. Then you can go do whatever with yourself, and pretend like you don’t have friends, or whatever.”

            “Can’t I just come back?”

            The lack of trust on Jason’s face hurt in a way Nico didn’t think possible.

            Eventually he nodded. “Okay. I’ll stick around here for a week. But I’ll probably stay in here.”

            “Fine.” Jason looked satisfied. He threw him a blinding smile. “Thank you, Nico.”

*****

            The next few days passed uneventfully.

            Nico checked in with Jason and Piper once a day, just so they knew he was around. Chiron left him alone, Nico assumed out of gratitude for handling his succubus problem. He ate alone at Hades’ table and avoided everyone’s eyes, and spent the rest of the time in his cabin. It was easy to keep away from Percy. Apparently letting him in on his secret was enough to make the son of Poseidon give him a wide berth.

            On the fourth day, Jason had invited him over, so he was standing on the son of Jupiter’s marble stoop with his hand poised to knock when voices reached his ears.

            “You have to tell me!” Percy’s voice was unmistakable. “Is it something I’ve done? He still hangs out with you, I’ve seen him come here. And you knew, right?”

            “Yeah, but Percy-“ Jason sounded uncomfortable.

            As he should, Nico thought darkly. What was he doing talking to Percy? And it could only be about him.

            “He’s avoiding me.” Percy said, and the bitterness in his voice was surprising. “He must tell you his secrets or you wouldn’t have known he liked guys, right? So why won’t you tell me why he hates me so much? I know we’ve had problems,” Percy stumbled over the word. “I mean, there’s been so much…but it’s been a long time, right?”

            “He didn’t mean to tell me that,” Jason said. “And he doesn’t hate you, Percy. Please believe me when I say that.”

            “Of course he does!” Percy exclaimed. “Nico’s not even looking at me anymore.”

            “He’s probably embarrassed! That’s a big thing for him. He grew up in a different time period than us, Percy. Be a little understanding.”

            “Yeah, but haven’t you told him no one cares about that here? We’re his friends.”

            “You’d think,” Jason’s voice was wry.

            Nico frowned at that, but he supposed it was deserved.

            “So he doesn’t hate me,” Percy said. “Why’s he tripping over himself getting away from me, then?”

            “I can’t tell you that.”

            “Huh?”  
            “You should talk to him,” Jason said firmly.

            Nico shook his head at the door. Bad advice, Grace.

            “Jason,” Percy’s voice was firm. “You need to tell me. He won’t.”

            “Ask him.”

            “I’m asking you.”

            There was a long silence.

            “He made me promise, Percy. I…”

            Percy said something too quiet for Nico to hear.

            The pause after it was deafening.

            “Okay,” Jason said.

            Nico practically broke down the door. He shot a finger at Jason’s surprised face. “You promised!” He yelled.

            “Nico?” Jason had the decency to flush. “It’s not what you think. I haven’t-“

            “See?” He said to Percy. Percy looked at him openmouthed, his eyes dismayed under his dark hair. “This. This is why I say I don’t have friends. Congratulations on your wedding, Grace. I’m not going to make it.”

            “I wasn’t going to tell him!” Jason sputtered.

            Percy was the only one quick enough to react before he got away. Fingers clamped like a vise around his wrist before Zeus’s cabin disappeared from view.

            They landed hard. Nico crouched into it, and Percy steadied himself on Nico. They both straightened together.

            “Nico,” Percy’s voice was dangerous. “Why are we here? Why did you come here?”

            Nico gasped. He tried to pull free from Percy’s grip, but the other demigod was strong. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to bring you with me.”

            “But why did YOU want to come here?” Percy demanded. His voice had an alarmed note to it.

            The river Lethe burbled quietly behind them.

            Nico felt hot, unwanted tears prick his eyelids. He struggled harder. “Just let go of me, and I’ll bring you back to camp. Or you don’t even have to let go of me yet.”

            He transported them back. They ended up in the forest, where he wanted to, far away from anyone else’s ears. He doubled his efforts to extract himself from Percy.

            “Stop it!” Percy shrilled. “Or I’m going to make enough noise that they’re going to come and find us, and I’ll tell everyone what you were about to do.”

            Nico was hyperventilating. He didn’t even care anymore. “Let them come!” He shrieked. “I’m going to be gone by the time they get here anyway!”

            “You’d really do that to Jason and Piper, right before their wedding?”

            “I won’t remember who they are anyway!” He pulled with enough force that he finally did extricate himself from Percy. The son of Poseidon looked stunned. He advanced on him before he managed to get the shadows open again, and grabbed Nico’s shoulders. Nico shoved him off, but let his doorway dissipate.

            “I always thought you hated me,” Percy said quietly. “But you hate yourself. You shouldn’t. You’ve saved our lives and helped us. Yes, you betrayed us, but Bianca was my fault-“

            “Bianca was my fault!” Nico hissed. “I should have gone with her. Not you.”

Percy shook his head sadly. “You’ve more than made up for your mistakes, Nico di Angelo, and the fact that you like guys doesn’t matter to anyone. Yeah, there’s some people who are jerks, but there are people who hate people for being fat, or a different religion, or a different race. It doesn’t make them right. There’s more of us than them. You have to believe that.”

            Nico’s lips were trembling. They moved anyway. “I don’t just like guys, Percy. I like you. I’ve liked you since the day you saved me on the day we met!” His voice rose with every word, until the last one hung as a shout in the air. His hands gestured wildly, an Italian trait he usually suppressed. “No. I’ve loved you. Loved you! Now do you understand? Now aren’t you disgusted? I can’t live with it. I can’t live with you hating me. I can’t live with remembering a home that I will never be welcome in again!”

            He had stopped looking at Percy moments into his speech, and he tugged hard at the shadows, violently. Too many of them appeared, he had no idea where he would end up but that didn’t really matter anymore. He would get to the Lethe eventually, and now there would be no one finding him with a “There you are!” ever again.

            A solid body collided with him, knocking him away from his escape route with a yell. He and Percy went tumbling over the ground and suddenly he was on his feet again, Stygian blade in hand. “You will let me go!” He roared. Cracks made lightning marks through the earth, and the flowers and grass closest to them turned brown.

            Percy was kneeling, his jean shorts grass-stained. He looked up at Nico with his chest rising and falling erratically. “Please don’t.” He held his hands up in supplication.

            There was enough emotion in those sea-green eyes that it made Nico pause warily, his breath caught in his throat. His sword was trembling, and he hated himself for that.

            Percy didn’t move, as if he were dealing with a skittish wild animal. It worked – any movement would have sent Nico running, he admitted that much to himself.

            “So you don’t hate me,” Nico said disdainfully. He kept his tone aloof. “That’s something. But I don’t want your pity, either.”

            He tugged at the threads of darkness, just a little, but Percy noticed.

            “I will find you, Nico. Don’t think losing your memories will save you. It won’t change who you love.”

            "You don't know that!” Nico flung back, but the truth was, that wasn’t something he had considered. What if he still liked guys even after all of that, but then he might not even remember how to get to the Lethe, or even what it did? What if he forgot how to shadow-travel, and was stuck in the underworld with no memories? Panic welled up in his throat.

            Percy was saving him again, despite all of it.

            Nico stabbed his blade into the earth with a scream.

            For some reason, that made a tentative smile appear on Percy’s face. He got to his feet, but didn’t make to approach. “Nico, look at me.”

            Because he didn’t have any other options, Nico did.

            “What you just said might have scared me, if you told me earlier,” Percy admitted.

            Nico nodded. He put a hand over his mouth to keep himself from throwing up. He felt the wetness on his cheeks, but didn’t bother futilely wiping it away.

            “But because I was with Annabeth, and it would have given me a choice I couldn’t make. It would have frustrated me, because it would have been Aphrodite’s curse – I’m sorry, blessing,” Percy said that part sarcastically, “all over again.”

            Nico stopped breathing. He didn’t trust himself to speak.

            “We keep needing each other,” Percy said quietly. “For quests, for saving the world, because it makes you do something like this,” Percy gestured to the ground. “And because it makes me take the better part of a year running around the world trying to find you. And don’t think I hadn’t been thinking about it anyway for a lot longer than that.”

            Percy took a step forward.

            Nico didn’t run.

            Percy squared his shoulders and took another few steps, but stopped with a foot between them, still respecting Nico’s space. “We understand each other’s power, and we’re not afraid of it,” Percy continued.

            Nico wiped the last of the tears off of his cheeks, and was grateful Percy pretended not to notice.

            “Is this you letting me down easy,” Nico said with a self-deprecating scoff. “It’s kind of working.”

            Percy opened his mouth, but whatever he was about to say was cut off by the sound of galloping hooves.

            Chiron broke through the trees. He took both of them in speechlessly. Finally he nodded. “I see. We thought we were being attacked.”

            A moment later, Annabeth and Clarisse came running through the brush after him. “Chiron! What-oh.”

            “You freaking idiots,” Clarisse snorted, and turned on her heel, stalking back toward camp without waiting for the explanation.

            “We were sparring,” Percy said quickly. “Sorry.”

            Annabeth and Chiron did not for a moment look like they believed him, but luckily, they had the consideration not to press for the truth, either.

            “Well,” Chiron coughed. “It’s almost time for dinner. Sparring time’s over. Come back to camp.”

            It wasn’t a request.

            Nico glanced at Percy, and Percy shot a look back at him. They followed the others silently.

*****

Nico had no appetite, and only stayed long enough that Chiron wouldn’t notice that anything was wrong. He made little skulls out of the food on his plate until enough time passed and a few other kids had left.

            When he got up to leave, Jason followed him, and he dragged his heels enough to let the other demigod catch up.

            “That wasn’t being a friend,” Nico said angrily before Jason could say anything. “What were you doing, talking to Percy about me?”

            “It’s not what you think,” Jason said, but he still looked and sounded contrite.

            “He cornered me in my cabin and wouldn’t leave. I know you were listening. Did I say anything?”

            “You were about to-“

  
            “You don’t know what I was about to say.” Jason said. “But it wasn’t what you were thinking. He dropped something on me and it was important.”

            “Oh?”

            “I can’t tell you,” Jason’s voice was firm. “He wouldn’t want that any more than you would.”

            Nico didn’t like that answer, but he could understand it. He nodded.

            “I wasn’t about to betray you, Nico. Please believe me.”

            Nico’s shoulders sagged. “Fine.”

            “You’ll stay? Just two more days.”

            Nico sighed. “I need to think about it.”

            Jason didn’t look happy about that, but he nodded. “Okay.”

*****

Nico’s cabin felt suffocating, so he spent Friday in the forest again, trying to see how many animal skeletons he could find. The answer to that was a lot. It kept him busy for most of the day, but by afternoon he was bored and took his chances showing his face around camp.

            “There you are!” Annabeth said unexpectedly from behind him.

            That phrase again, Nico mused. It wasn’t a bad phrase, really.

            It was amazing how you could miss a phrase like that, actually. There were little things he hadn’t heard for five years that he didn’t really know he was lacking until he heard them again, and suddenly they seemed huge.

            “Were you looking for me?” He replied warily.

            “Percy, actually. I haven’t seen him all day and thought he might be with you?” Annabeth frowned. “But he’s not, is he?”

            Nico shook his head.

            “Is everything all right with the two of you?”

            Nico shrugged. He didn’t know the answer to that. “I guess.”

            “You were fighting last night.” That wasn’t a question.

            “Kind of.”

            “Do you think he’s upset?”

            “What do you want, Annabeth?”

            Her grey eyes were intense. “I just think someone should find him, and I’d rather it be you than me.”

            “You know,” he whispered.

            She nudged him with a shoulder. “I was kind of jealous when we were together,” she said lightly. “It’s hard not to notice when someone looks at your boyfriend like that. Don’t look like that, Nico! It’s not a bad thing.” She frowned at him. “Did you…Nico, was that what the fight was about? Did Percy react badly?”

            “No,” Nico said quickly, and was overwhelmingly glad that was the truth. “No. Actually, I think he’s fine with it.”

            She nodded as if that was the answer she was expecting. “So, will you find him for us? Piper and Jason are having an engagement party, I guess.” She laughed. “The night before the wedding is a little unconventional, but it’s still going to be a lot of fun. I don’t think Percy knows about it, because they announced it at breakfast, and he wasn’t here.”

            “Are you two friends?” Nico asked hesitantly.

            She looked surprised. “Of course. But…things like this. It’s kind of hard to keep the friend and relationship lines separate, you know?”

            Nico didn’t, so he didn’t say anything.

            “It just wasn’t good for us anymore,” she said quietly. “But I think if we aren’t careful, we might try for it again, and that would be a big mistake for both of us. Does that make any sense?”

            Nico gave an uncommitted shrug. It was the best he could do, but ultimately, he supposed he did understand. It was why he tried so hard to stay out of their way when he thought that Annabeth and Percy were soulmates. “Yeah. I guess it does.”

*****

Nico stepped nimbly out of the shadows onto the beach, which did not surprise him one bit. It didn’t take long for him to locate Percy’s form crouched on the rocks by the water, his knees to his chest. He was staring off into the distance, toward the sunset that was casting a peach glow on the gentle waves.

            Nico’s breath caught. Percy’s profile was handsome in the waning light, but then again, it always was. He stood there for a few minutes, watching as Percy tossed a rock between his hands, and finally cast it. It skimmed the water before sinking far away from shore.

            Percy surprised him by speaking first. Apparently he’d known he was there all along. “Are you just going to watch me? Or did you come here to talk?”

            “Annabeth sent me. If you knew I was here, why didn’t you say something?”

            Percy was quiet for a moment. “I guess I’m just glad to have the company.”

            Nico didn’t have anything to say to that, but it sent a warmth over his skin. Percy didn’t hate him. He didn’t hate him, and he still wanted him around.

            “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

            Nico snorted, knowing exactly what he meant. “I think that’s obvious.”

            “It’s not to me,” Percy said softly. “Is it because you know you shouldn’t like me?”

            “Yes.”

            “Not like that!” Percy still didn’t look at him, but somehow knew what he had meant. “Is there something wrong with me? Is it because I seem to hurt everyone I’m with?”

            “No!” Nico said. “There is nothing wrong with you!” He said it fiercely, his feelings fueling the words. “Annabeth even…” his cheeks burned. “I think she’d get back together with you, if you wanted to.”

            “Then why?” Percy demanded.

            “Can we not do this?”

            Percy looked at him. “You let me think you hated me for years, Nico.”

            “Annabeth sent me to get you,” Nico said flatly. “Piper and Jason are having a party to celebrate their engagement. She thought you would want to know.”

            Percy laughed back at him, but it wasn’t happy, and that confused him. He dealt with it by shadow-traveling back to his cabin.

            He knew he should have gone to the party, too, but he couldn’t make himself. The sounds of it reached his ears anyway, and echoed in the empty, black space of his room.

*****

Nico tugged on his tie. It felt like he was being choked by the succubus again.

            He had shadow-traveled into town to grab clothes for that night, and had unenthusiastically donned a sharp-looking black suit with a deep red tie that matched the waistcoat beneath. His shoes were too shiny. He knew he looked good, but comfortable he was not.

            He had shown up early to help with the set up of chairs and flower arrangements. Leo and Frank had come, but Hazel unfortunately was away on a long quest, which Nico had known about and had been worrying about for the past month. It wasn’t especially dangerous, though, just tedious, but necessary. His disappointment that he wouldn’t be seeing her was bitter.

            Percy had been trying to make eye contact with him during the whole process, but Nico was adept at avoiding people. He kept Annabeth in between them, and the look on her face said all too plainly that she knew what he was up to, but she played along anyway, to her credit.

            He looked amazing, though. His tan suit complimented his complexion, and the sea-green tie matched his eyes. He wore a waistcoat the color of the ocean under a noon sun. The outfit was perfect for him.

            He was the day to Nico’s night.

            The guests started to show up. Aphrodite was first, cooing and putting finishing touches on everything, which was to say she changed it all until it looked like a completely different wedding. Nico hoped Piper wouldn’t mind too much. He had to admit it looked better than what they had done, but that wasn’t really a surprise.

            Next came Dionysus, looking grumpy, but he had made the effort to dress nicely for the occasion. The entire Aphrodite cabin showed up after him, and were quickly put to work by their mother strewing flower petals over everything. Gleeson Hedge followed them, and it was as if the floodgates opened after that – pretty much everyone showed up all at once, from Rachel Dare to Nico’s friends to the rest of the campers he hadn’t really bothered to introduce himself to.

            He was seated in the first row.

            Like family.

            Jason entered and stood by the altar, which was an archway made of intertwining branches and flowering vines.

            Annabeth and Reyna Avila Ramirez-Arellano came after him and parted ways, Annabeth taking the bride’s side.

            Finally, the music started, and Piper came down the aisle, her mother’s blessing glowing off of her. He could still see how happy she was underneath all the glamour though, and that beauty was even stronger. Nico grinned at her, and she met his eyes, beaming back at him.  

            The ceremony was everything it should have been. Their vows had been personal, and the love between Jason and Piper was easy to see. It made Nico joyful for his friends, even as it filled his heart with something almost too painful to hold.

            It wasn’t something he would ever be allowed to have.

            He wondered what it would be like to look like that at someone, and have that someone mirror it back at him.

            Nico came over to the couple at the reception to give his congratulations, and was rewarded with full-watt smiles from both of them.

            “I am really happy you made it,” Jason said. “It means a lot to both of us.”

            Piper pulled him into a hug. “Thank you.”

            He nodded into her shoulder, and smiled despite himself. “Your dad couldn’t come?”

            Piper frowned, but it was just a little frown. “We’re going to have a smaller celebration not at camp,” she explained. “For…you know, not-demigods.”

            Nico nodded at her.

            The party began to get a little raucous after that. There had been tables set up to eat dinner at, and it was an authentic feast. Nico had to dodge more than one person dancing between the tables to get to a seat that was far enough away that he wouldn’t be elbowed in the face as he ate.

            “There you are.”

            Nico closed his eyes. He felt Percy sit beside him.

            “Can I talk to you?”

            “You are already.”

            “Ha-ha.”

            “Look, Percy, I am happy right now. You don’t hate me. I get it. Thank you for not hating me. We shouldn’t ruin Piper and Jason’s wedding over-“

            “No one else is listening to us,” Percy pointed out.

            Nico met his eyes. He glared so the hurt wouldn’t shine out.

            Percy’s jaw clenched. “We haven’t had a chance to talk since…since you told me that.”

            “We’ve talked.”  
            “Can you not make this difficult?” Percy set his food and glass down on the table with a thunk. A couple campers a few seats away looked over, and Nico ducked his head.

            “You’re making it difficult,” Nico muttered. “You have no idea how hard it was for me to tell you that. If you could just let me forget-“  
            “I don’t want to forget!” Percy cried.

            The talking around them stopped.

            Nico’s head snapped up to look at Percy’s face.

            Other tables, noticing the quiet, also fell silent. It was a chain reaction; it felt like no one else in the entire party was breathing.

            Nico stood up. Percy stood up too, blocking him.

            This was worse than his worst nightmare. Nico cheeks heated up. “Everyone’s watching, Percy. Please just let me go.” His voice was a desperate hiss. “Please. If you don’t hate me.”

            At the head table, many tables behind Percy’s shoulder, Nico saw Piper and Jason watching them intently.

            Could they see him hyperventilating? He extracted his legs from his chair and was about to turn, but Percy caught his fingers. He twisted them, but Percy wouldn’t let go.

            “It’s not fair to not let me respond to that!” Percy said, but thankfully, he kept his voice low. “Do you even know what I would have said? What I wanted to say?”

            “You said it,” Nico said. “P-Percy, I listened. I heard you in the clearing. It’s okay. You said everything right.” He was failing to keep his voice even. It squeaked on every other word. “Why are you doing this?”

            “You’re not giving me a chance!” Percy exploded, and yanked his arm so hard that Nico fell forward.

            Percy’s lips were on his.

            Percy Jackson was kissing him.

            Nico flailed, but Percy held on until he stopped struggling. Percy wrapped his other arm around Nico’s shoulders. He felt the fabric of his shirt pulling around his arms, and maybe it would rip, but he didn’t care.

            It should have been private, but it wasn’t.

            Nico had wanted Percy for too long to stop it. What did anyone else matter, anyway? Had he loved them for years? No. He had only known most of them a week. So what if the mortification was enough to make him crawl into his underworld room and stay there until he or they died. So what if every single eye was on them, instead of on the people actually getting married. So what if his ears were burning so strongly that he thought they would actually catch on fire.

            He felt the shadows coming anyway. Reflex.

            “Don’t you dare,” Percy’s lips moved on his own. Nico forced himself to relax his powers, but he couldn’t quite relax his body. Percy didn’t seem to care, pulling him tighter into his chest and resuming the kiss. Nico’s trembling arms finally moved, and he tangled his fingers into Percy’s hair. He wanted to do more, but the silence around them was too overwhelming. As if Percy knew, he bit Nico’s lower lip gently, and he forgot to be embarrassed. He closed his eyes and let himself just feel what it was like to be kissed by Percy Jackson.

            It was better, actually, than what he had imagined. Percy was a good kisser. He supposed he had Annabeth to thank for that. It didn’t bother him the way it should have.

            Percy was rubbing his back in slow, comforting motions. Nico made a noise into his mouth, and felt Percy smile in response.

            Clarisse’s “What the hell?” echoed.

            It was eclipsed by Aphrodite’s unmistakable sigh. “This was better than what I had planned.”

            Leo’s catcall broke the tension. There was some laughter, but more cheering. Nico recognized their friends’ voices in the cacophony. Jason gave them a hearty, encouraging yell.

            Percy loosened his grip. “Please don’t run.” His eyes were wary on Nico’s. He sat back down slowly, and Nico followed him. Percy ran his hands down Nico’s arms until they were sitting with their fingers entwined.

            Nico was aware of a few eyes still on them, but most people had already moved on, going back to their food and excited chatter. He was all too conscious of his hands shaking in Percy’s.

            “What was that?” He forced himself to meet Percy’s intense gaze.

            Percy smiled at him. “It was what I wanted to do before Chiron and the others interrupted us.”

            “You’re not gay,” Nico tripped on the word.

            “I like people, Nico.” Percy’s smile was a little uncertain. “I don’t think it matters to me so much whether someone is a boy or a girl. I like you. I admire you. Is that okay?”

            Dumbly, Nico nodded.

            “I can’t imagine,” Percy rubbed his skin with his thumb in gentle, calming circles. It worked; the trembling subsided. “What it must have been like for you, and I’m sorry. But you have to know you did a lot of that to yourself. No one judges you for this, and no one is going to care if we’re together.” He jerked his chin at the rest of the party. “You heard their reactions. Everyone’s happy for us.”

            “Yeah,” Nico mumbled, still dazed.

            Percy was looking at him in that way that Jason had looked at Piper. There was a small smile on his lips, and his eyes were soft at the edges. It was the only way Nico could think to describe it.

            Hesitantly, Nico extracted one hand, but allowed Percy to keep his grip on the other so he knew he wasn’t trying to get away. He brought it up to touch Percy’s head just behind his ear, and pulled him forward.

            This kiss was more fleeting, but it was enough. He looked furtively around him. Chiron was smiling at them. Nico looked quickly in the other direction.

            “Can we go somewhere else? Just for a little bit?”

  
            That earned him a frown, but Percy nodded.

            He shadow-traveled them to the beach.

            He took a deep breath, and stepped back a little, just so he could have the space he needed to think again.

            Percy waited quietly for him to recover.

            “I have loved you,” he said finally. “I have loved you for so long that I have forgotten what it feels like not to. And because I couldn’t-“

            “You can,” Percy’s voice was forceful.

            “Because I thought I couldn’t have you,” Nico picked up again, “I forgot what it was like not to hurt. So I wanted to forget. I have been thinking about going to the Lethe ever since Gaea, Percy.”

            Percy’s eyes were full of pain.

            That was enough to make his eyes prickle. “And I didn’t, because I didn’t want to hurt you. I knew you would blame yourself. So I was able to find a new way to forget. If I kept going to new places, I kind of forgot what it was like not to run. Just like I forgot what it was like before I knew you.”

            “Then I found you,” Percy prompted.

            Nico looked out across the water. It was darkening with the falling night, but a bright moon was rising, and the stars were twinkling in the twilight.

            “If this doesn’t work out,” Nico said softly. “I am not going to blame you, Percy.”

            “You really don’t trust me, do you?” There was realization in Percy’s voice, and notes of something really unpleasant.

            “What?” Nico looked to him, shocked.

            “I get it. I’m dangerous. If you don’t actually want this-“

            “Were you even listening to me?” Nico cried incredulously.

            Percy wasn’t even looking at him anymore. His hands balled into fists. “I meant it, Nico. I searched the entire world for you, because it didn’t seem right without you here. I didn’t know why I felt like that until you said what you did to me, and then it just clicked. But I get it if you don’t want to try this with me.”

            Nico stared at him in amazement, until his wits returned. He crossed the short distance until he was standing close enough to touch their shoulders together.

            He couldn’t find the right words. The tears welling up finally dripped down his cheek.

            Had he broken it already somehow?

            “Nico?” Percy was looking at him again, and squinted. His eyes widened; Nico guessed he caught sight of the tears.

            “It’s not you I don’t believe in,” Nico finally spat. “You’re too good, Percy. You’ve always been too good. I live in the underworld. I’m an outcast. I smell like corpses-“

            “You don’t smell like corpses,” Percy corrected, then amended, “Not all the time. Only when you’ve just gotten back. Most of the time you smell like earth, like after it rains.”

            Nico worked his jaw. “Okay. But-“

            “You’re selfless,” Percy broke in. “You care about other people, even when you think they don’t care about you. You stayed out of the way when I was seeing Annabeth, because you wanted me to be happy. That’s really admirable, Nico. You say I’m good but you’re better, and you always have been.”

            Nico shook his head at him.

            A tentative smile appeared on Percy’s face. “There’s a lot of things I’ve always thought about you that just weren’t adding up.” Percy took his hand.

            Nico gripped his fingers like they were a lifeline.

            “I think this might be real, Nico. Please, please give us a chance. Stay at camp. Chiron will make a spot for you.”

            Just like that, a weight he had been carrying for almost as long as he could remember flew away, out over the ocean in front of them and past the horizon.

            “Okay.”

            “Okay?” Relief washed over Percy’s face.

            Nico grinned. It was slow at first, then it felt like his cheeks would split. “…okay.”

            Percy brightened, then grabbed Nico and spun him. “Whoa!” Nico cried. They fell over into the sand, both laughing.

            Percy reached over and ruffled his hair. Nico felt sand cascade over his ears, some falling into his shirt collar. He didn’t care. He made a half-hearted effort to smooth his hair back down, then changed his mind and leaned forward, catching Percy’s lips with his own.

            Percy deepened it, then rolled him so that he was straddling Nico’s hips. His tongue pressed into his mouth and Nico felt himself harden.

            He wasn’t the only one. Percy against him, wanting him, was almost more than he could take.

            So this was what it felt like.

            He bucked up, involuntarily, but it was too much, too fast. Percy had already caught a rhythm though, and Nico gave up his control.

            Not too fast, he realized. Not too fast when he’d dreamed and imagined and hoped for almost half his life…

            The contact, muffled as it was by their clothes, was the only contact of that sort Nico had ever had. His release crashed over him in waves, blinding him until he felt Percy follow, shuddering on top of him even as his hips jerked a last few times.

            They lay breathing heavily, staring, almost bewildered, at one another.

            “Was it too much?” Percy asked anxiously.

            “Not enough,” Nico gasped.

            Percy visibly relaxed.

            The sounds of the party were growing louder in the distance. Music had picked up.

            “We better get back,” Percy said reluctantly.

            Nico nodded into his shoulder, overwhelmed.

*****

            Nico took them by way of shadows first to his room, then to Percy’s, to change into fresh clothes. When they showed up at the party in their day clothes, Annabeth was the only one to raise an eyebrow at them.

            Jason and Piper came swinging by as they whirled around the campfire, picking up people as they went. The crowd was growing, and the music was rowdy. It wasn’t really Nico’s scene, but the joy was palpable, and for once, Nico was in the mood to bask in that. Percy got picked up next, but Nico shook his head violently when they tried to get him up.

            Frank and Leo swung by, arm in arm with Annabeth.

            He watched Percy dance around with them, then end up laughing in front of Nico. He bent down and caught Nico’s lips in a kiss before Nico could tell what was happening. Grinning, Percy extended a hand.

            Nico took it.

            There was a first time for everything, and Nico was going to try something new.

            He was going to try to be happy.

            He let Percy drag him to his feet. He stumbled a few times, but what did that matter?

            He was with friends.

 

  
 

 


End file.
